When Vagina Envy Visits the Zionists

Natasha Hausdorff pisses off woman MP for being beautiful and smart

It’s no secret that women can be very competitive with one another, especially when they’re in the position of needing to show competence in a public forum side-by-side. These toxic dynamics very often play out in situations where two women have a power differential between them—i.e. an older boss managing a younger employee. I believe that we should have a universal term for this phenomenon: vagina envy, the jealousy that a (usually older) women experiences for another (usually younger) for outshining her in areas such as intelligence, beauty, and vaginal lubrication level. These dynamics play out in all of their ugly forms in the situation I am about to elaborate on.

I decided to take a break from the fuckery of U.S. politics for a moment to watch the following lively display at the UK House of Commons. I wouldn’t call it a “debate” exactly, since Natasha Hausdorff was there ostensibly to testify to a committee on Israel’s role in the Middle East, not debate it. But as is often the case nowadays, people like these UK politicians seek to put Zionists on the defensive. Is it wrong that I find comfort in the knowledge that another western government can make just as much of an ass of itself as my own?

Here we have the lovely Natasha Hausdorff, an attorney (or more properly in Britain, a barrister) of international law who spends a great deal of time nowadays defending the Jewish state on the world stage. The descendant of a family whose roots in Israel date back to the 1850s, Natasha possesses the rare quality of actually knowing what she’s talking about while clearly expressing factual information in a non-hostile manner to hostile audiences at the same time. These characteristics make her a unicorn in today’s discourse.

The gathering became a display of incivility when this whale of a MP Emily Thornberry began acting hostile towards Natasha. Rather than just go back to the Nickelodeon cartoon where she belongs, MP Thornberry implements the following tactics in a futile effort to discredit her:

• Attempting to confuse and gaslight about Israel’s internationally recognized borders. For any serious student of Israeli history, they’re easy and unemotional points to speak on—and it’s definitely not difficult for Natasha, who breezily responds with “one cannot annex what is already one’s own sovereign territory.”

• Throwing her pen down like a petulant child when Natasha suggests that Israel hasn’t violated international humanitarian law. MP Thornberry’s highly intelligent response to that assertion is as follows: “OH NO NO NO NO NO NAH NAH NAH NAH.” Very convincing counterargument if you ask me.

• MP Thornberry actually thinks this is a “gotcha” question: "If Israel hasn’t breached humanitarian law, why isn’t the British government selling them arms that can be used in Gaza?” If Putin is such a threat, why is the United States under President Trump strongarming Ukraine into a ceasefire? Same logic.

I will keep repeating it until this nonsense ceases: one’s anger towards the Jewish state very rarely has anything to do with what Israel actually does or is. Rather, it’s a reflection of the speaker—in this case, an angry crone confronting a woman half her age with twice the knowledge. You can just imagine how she treats her female employees. I look forward to seeing her future work on women’s empowerment, which for her appears to mean throwing her writing utensils while yelling NAH NAH NAH in an empty effort to tear down the ones she finds personally threatening to her.

Well played, MP Thornberry.

Eliza Thornberry of “The Wild Thornberrys”