Introducing: The Liberal Jew Court of As a Jew Justice

My very own international criminal court

I decided to start my own international criminal court, the Liberal Jew Court of As a Jew Justice (LJCAJJ), because I want the ability to issue arrest warrants to random people whenever I want. I therefore grant myself the authority to issue warrants to “As a Jews,” aka Jews who have acted like insufferable haters through the duration of the Israel-Hamas War. The LJCAJJ is certified kosher by the International Dumbfucks Intent On Traumatizing Semites (IDIOTS) and the Antisemitic Society of Stupidity (ASS).

All court proceedings will take place in the Cayman Islands, where I will purchase a vacation home and hide all of my money.

The LJCAJJ will be issuing As a Jew arrest warrants to the following people. These charges all carry the penalty of deportation to the world’s largest open air prison, Gaza, via airdrop (no parachute) if convicted. Defendants will also be ordered to pay restitution for the rebuilding of Kibbutz Nir Oz. The LJCAJJ will also order the defendants to absent themselves entirely from the public sphere (so all social media) should they be convicted of any of the charges outlined below. The latter punishment will no doubt be a fate worse than death for most of them: